OMG - I need to vent

Ok ... so here's the thing ...

As I said before, I think I am going to temporarily drop Steven and Mike as friends. They've become damaging to myself and I really can't take their lies and bullshit anymore.

So as you all know, I really do care for Steven, both as a friend and more. I've said it a million times and it's the honest truth.

So throughout the week, Steve messages me at work constantly via MSN or even e-mail. We keep in contact throughout the week and everything. I keep looking to hang out, but every time I ask, he always has some excuse. I even invited him to workout with my at my gym and he agreed, but we can never plan it out. He is ALWAYS doing something.

I asked him to hang out and watch movies, I get no response. I offered a few times to be his sober driver to some house parties he was going to and he gives me some excuse.

There was the time when we lost power and he sends me that text about hanging out during the week... total lie. Then I text him this past Saturday and asked him that since it was such a gorgeous day, if he'd go running with me on the track. He tells me how he's really sick and not feeling well. I then say, ok, well since it's so nice, you want to just chill on the beach or go to the local park or something and he's like, I don't know ... I just don't feel well. So I was like, ok, maybe we just hang out at my place and watch movies and he's like I'll let you know later.

So I left it at that.  All of a sudden, I get a video text from him and it was some weird group of people, obviously a rally of some sort. So I asked him what that was and he's like I'm at the rally. I ask him which one and he's like the health care reform rally. I was furious but decided to not let him know and I basically wrote "LOL - are you for or against it" - and he never replied.

It was BEYOND obvious that I wanted to hang out, right?

Well he sends me a picture message of some large house and I stupidly ask him what it is and he's like it's some house that his parents own or whatever. I basically replied back with "Nice" and that was it. I had decided that I wasn't going to bite and let him feed on me, so I was as blunt as possible.

He later on writes me a text asking me where I am. So I replied rather snarkly, "Seriously? I'm in my apartment in the city. Where are you?" and he's like "Yeah ... my ass" -- so we get into this conversation and he's like why are you so quiet. So I said to him that I'm giving him space.

So he gets all pissed off, I guess, and goes on the D about how he's been dying to hang out and all this crap. He then goes to call me and I accidentally hit the ignore button because I was in the middle of texting him and he goes "Oh, so you're ignoring my calls too?" Meanwhile, I had just texted him saying that I wasn't angry with him.

So I go to call back and it rings and goes to voicemail. So I text him again and he's like I went for a drive to get some air ... I'll call you when I'm back ...

So, stupidly, I keep texting him and the last text I get from him is something like "I'm so high on pain killers ... i forgot where I parked my car- lol" -- I immediately called him and again ... ring ring ring ring, voicemail.

I swear to you ... I am so frustrated with him. The way he is acting really makes me regret telling him the truth. I seriously feel like since then he has been distant and very short with me. The last text I sent him was ... "Well I'm going to bed now. Thnx for calling me back. What are you doing tomorrow? Maybe we can have dinner at the diner or something. You let me know."

I seriously plan to give him a piece of my mind if we go to dinner. I'm going to tell him exactly what I feel and that if he really doesn't want to pursue this friendship, then I can live with that, but he needs to stop playing me. Hell, I need to stop letting him play me.He knows I am very vested in my friendships and he knows that when he texts stupid shit like that to me about drugs that I flip out. I NEED TO STOP CARING.

I really had hoped that he would be a friend for life and that I could eventually come out to him 100% and that things would be ok, but I really don't see that happening with him. I never know whether or not to take him seriously and despite the many times I've told him that, it doesn't seem to bother him.

I really don't want to give up on him - I honestly feel that too many people in his live have or had at one point and I truly want to be there for him, no matter the situation, but I can't be toyed with as much as he is toying with me. It's so damn frustrating! Not to mention that my dad ended up in the hospital this week. He lost a 1/3 of a finger from using a table saw. That was primarily my main cause of stress this whole week. Add my job to the equation and all this drama with Steve ... I seriously need go and have a good man-cry.

I do have to give Steve props - when he found out about my dad he was ever so kind - him and his whole family. They were so generous and Steve even offered to help around my house to finish up the projects that my dad had started. It was really nice of him, but then all of a sudden, it turns into tonight?

Arggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!