Yesterday...

So yesterday was just a crappy day... Things are becoming more and more demanding at work as our deadline approaches for the launch of some new websites. We attempted to launch one and let's just say we encountered problems.

I'm back in school, attempting to pull my GPA up so I won't get kicked out. School has become more demanding as well ... A lot more is due and has to be handed in. Understanding the concept of Calculus II and computer programming is quite hard when you're trying to get through work as well.

I just went to the doctor recently b/c of an ear infection and found out that my cholesterol is "a bit" high and now I have to start Lipitor. Ironically, I went in for an ear infection almost a year ago and was diagnosed with diabetes, type II.

I seriously am speechless as to where I have taken a turn in life. Everything just seems to be going down hill and there is no detour or side roads. It's just one thing to the next... I seriously feel like my heart is ready to give up. I learned that cholesterol leads to clogged arteries and I honestly feel that my arteries are closing up sometimes. It's the strangest feeling, but then it goes away.

I don't know what it is... is it the stress from work? School? life in general? I honestly don't know! I am just feeling run down and there has been numerous occasions in the past 2 weeks that I have just passed out as early as 8pm ... Should I be worried?... am I just stressing myself out?

I don't know anymore... I just want to cry but never do... I feel like I want to die, but not really... what the hell is going on with me? The other day I was driving and listening to a song and I started crying.. while driving! I remember saying ... "What the f* is wrong with me... I'm like a woman!! Why am I crying!?"

I had no explanation for it... it just happened and then passed, like a storm. I don't know what is going on!!!!!!