Hello! My name is Jared Wilcox... Well that's how you and the rest of the world will know me as. Since the keyword of this blog is closeted, I intend to keep it just that! I am discreet and must stay discreet. Some may understand this and others may not, but either way, whether you like it or not, I must maintain this level of discreetness (is that a word?).Well with that said you may ask why I started this blog? In all honesty... I started this blog because I am a big emotional queen! :-)
Seriously... I have a lot of thoughts and after reading a fellow blogger's gay blog, I was inspired to begin placing my thoughts into writing.
The hardest thing, I believe, is to live a lie. Of course, there are a lot far off worse things in life, such as disease and experiencing death, but to me, living an entire life as a lie is just as bad. No one really knows you, although everyone thinks they do... You want to just explode and tell the world, but then you pause and weigh out consequences and then realize that it is not the best decision.
Living with an extremely traditional family, who isn't as open to such concepts, is very hard and is another major reason that it is just not an option at all. Hearing your father say such things like, "if any of my children are gay, I will disown them" or "kill them," and knowing that he is serious really makes you think twice about even admitting that you're somewhat 'bent'.
Seriously... I have a lot of thoughts and after reading a fellow blogger's gay blog, I was inspired to begin placing my thoughts into writing.
The hardest thing, I believe, is to live a lie. Of course, there are a lot far off worse things in life, such as disease and experiencing death, but to me, living an entire life as a lie is just as bad. No one really knows you, although everyone thinks they do... You want to just explode and tell the world, but then you pause and weigh out consequences and then realize that it is not the best decision.
Living with an extremely traditional family, who isn't as open to such concepts, is very hard and is another major reason that it is just not an option at all. Hearing your father say such things like, "if any of my children are gay, I will disown them" or "kill them," and knowing that he is serious really makes you think twice about even admitting that you're somewhat 'bent'.
So with this said, it is just best to leave things as is... well at least until you can afford to live completely on your own. Right now, living on my own isn't an option, especially living in an extremely expensive place, where a one bedroom apartment starts at $1200.So why did I start this blog? To vent, to express my thoughts, and to see what others have to say about what I post. I am looking for feedback and looking for open friends. That's all... is that too much to ask for in one's life? Acceptance?
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5 comments:
Welcome.
You have given Stratis (MOTB) a wonderful honor: inspiration to start your own blog.
Hope you have a great time in Greece.!
I am from Holland now in SC, USA
To answer your question...It is NOT to much to ask.
Acceptance is a wonderful thing and I hope you find it in the comments to your blog. More importantly, I hope you find it in a life partner, a soulmate, with whom to share your life.
You are really not living a lie as much as others do not wish you to live the truth. It is their loss to know not know you: your loves, your desires, your struggles, your hopes.
I know what you mean cause im also closeted and my family is also very traditional and if they ever found out i dont know what would happen. And i hope you having fun in greece i was there over the summer and i was checkin out every guy down there too ;) but i was with family so i didnt get out much :( and with the men there dont most of them seem very not homophobic as they are in north america well i saw that.
And so begins, in my opinion, a truly awesome blog.
nice way to start your blog.
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